I think my husband is trying to give me nightmares. I fell asleep with the kids and came to bed and my husband woke up only to tell me a horror story. He starts...
"I saw the biggest bug as I was walking upstairs, on the yellow wall. It was some kind of beetle. As I walked up it moved and looked at me. I saw the little tissue in my hand and knew this wasn't going to do it.The bug was bigger than the tissue, which was one inch by one inch, so I went back down stairs for three paper towels. As I approached, it looked at me again and dodged back and forth, like a football linebacker dodges right, faints left. So I snatched it up in the towels and wrapped it up. I was sure not to squeeze tight because I didn't want to feel it crunch between my fingers. I knew I couldn't put it in the garbage can and I knew I didn't want to open the paper towels to put it in the toilet, so I threw it out the window, paper towels and all."
"The front one." He replied.
"Ohhhh, I would have had the window above the t.v. ready and open."
"I didn't think that far ahead." He answered. "I think when a bug is big enough to be aware of you it's a little too personal"
Always the educator and he just doesn't know it, he proceeds to explain that the reason we are so creeped out by bugs is because of we are xenophobic by nature. We can't relate to bugs in the same way we do other creatures. Even a wolf, though scary, can be cute. It has fur or hair like us, eyes and a mouth that you can see. You can't see a bugs eyes. It's mouth isn't even really a mouth and it's skeleton is on the outsite! The monsters of old used to be humanized like werewolves, these days they're more like aliens. Which makes them scarier. Random fact: Did you know the at the nerve endings in our skin are designed to feel a bug crawling across rather than something like a leaf. We're hardwired to be aware of bugs!
Always the educator and he just doesn't know it, he proceeds to explain that the reason we are so creeped out by bugs is because of we are xenophobic by nature. We can't relate to bugs in the same way we do other creatures. Even a wolf, though scary, can be cute. It has fur or hair like us, eyes and a mouth that you can see. You can't see a bugs eyes. It's mouth isn't even really a mouth and it's skeleton is on the outsite! The monsters of old used to be humanized like werewolves, these days they're more like aliens. Which makes them scarier. Random fact: Did you know the at the nerve endings in our skin are designed to feel a bug crawling across rather than something like a leaf. We're hardwired to be aware of bugs!
Had to share that story, because it majorly creeped me out! Maybe this way I won't have nightmares?!?
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Your husband certainly made relocating a bug into a fun story. I love the part about the bug going out the window with the paper towels:)
ReplyDeleteYour husband makes me laugh! He seems like he knows just what to say to freak you out. Maybe that was his intention...;)
ReplyDeleteWhere did he learn about all that stuff about bugs and humans' innate fear of them? I think most bugs are really cool, and had I taken entomology early on in my college career rather than toward the end, I probably would have changed majors, but since I only had a few more classes to go for my Bachelor's in education, I stuck it out. I wonder what my life would be like as an entomologist? Hmmm...
He reads a lot and is into sci fi stuff. You're crazy - entomologist! I'm still shivering!
DeleteThat is one great story. I too am creeped out by this. I can't believe he told you this as you were getting into bed! I'm not sure I would have been able to sleep. He does sound like an educator. Maybe a second career?
ReplyDeleteSo who's going to pick up the paper towels? I had to laugh with "it saw the tissue." New word for me today, xenophobic.
ReplyDeleteIt is funny. I forgot to put that part in. I did ask him if he threw out the paper towels. He said we'll get them in the morning. I get the shivers though thinking the bug may still be in them - Ugggh!
DeleteI take bugs in my house so personally. Not a humane bone in my body about it. Smush, crunch, dispose!!
ReplyDeleteYeah...I don't think he didn't crush it to be nice. I think he was seriously grossed out at the though of the crunch. Which tell me something because he doesn't really get grossed out by bugs. YUCK!!!
DeleteYour husband sounds like a great story-teller! I wonder if he is a writer... I was recently diagnosed with "hives" after three months of searching for spiders, bed bugs, or anything else that may have been eating away at my arms, legs, and tummy. Seriously - constantly creeped out! I can't even explain the relief it was to be diagnosed with a non-bug-related ailment! :) Your story made me cringe and laugh all at the same time!
ReplyDeleteOhhh...that's just torture! But you make me think of another bug story. I'm sure in general I'm stalked by spiders.
DeleteEwwww. No husband at my house, so guess who gets to engage in these fun bug catching adventures!
ReplyDeleteI am totally not afraid, but I don't think I'd like anyone telling me this story right before bedtime! It is funny that even he was alarmed & thought the beetle appeared to be looking at him. Great story, Jen. I hope the beetle told all the family that the house was NOT friendly.
ReplyDeleteI agree! This is NOT a but-friendly house!
DeleteI was squirming at "feel it crunch between my fingers." That was some bug! ICK! I was laughing in a bunch of other places. I learned something too (your husband's fun facts are interesting).
ReplyDeleteThis is part of the premise of the problem with the Formics in the Ender's Game series (by Orson Scott Card). Love it!
ReplyDeleteMy son and my husband had started reading that series, but my son lost interest. We'll have to check it out again.
DeleteI hope that you were able to put that out of your mind and get some sleep! It sounds like your husband was very descriptive.
ReplyDelete