What to write...
poetry eludes me
slips through my fingers
like water
passes through my mind
like a whisp of mist
chase after the words
like little girls chase boys
at recess
like putting on jeans that
are too tightthe tables have turned
work to capture the essence of
the moment
just the right words
just the right rhythm and
flowwrite, write, write...
Click on the slices to go back to SOLC
Your description drew me in as poetry is a struggle for me.
ReplyDeleteI love this line!
like putting on jeans that
are too tight
That line was inspired by Karen Terlecky's post the other day "Freshly Washed Jeans" http://bit.ly/yr8iTX
DeleteLucy Calkins says we need to take the same topic and use it to write in different formats to see the possibilities. You have done this. I love the sparseness of words in poetry but the images are so vivid. You caught that, especially with these words: chase after the words
ReplyDeletelike little girls chase boys
at recess
I love the image that lingers in my mind.
You have been so encouraging to me through this process - Thank you! I really did try to paralell this poem with the other. Especially with the line you mention, in the other poem first graders were tugging at a pantleg to go out to recess. Thanks for noticing the craft.
DeleteYou created great images in my mind. The sound of a whisp of mist stood out to me and the image of girls chasing boys at recess.
ReplyDeleteI really connected with the putting jeans on that are too tight metaphor. For multiple reasons.
ReplyDeleteJen,
ReplyDeleteI suppose we are a bunch of word chasers this month. I know you said this isn't a genre you are comfortable using, but I think you convey a lot of meaning in such carefully crafted pieces. Smart to pull the line from one of your slice reflections, "write, write, write." Delightful.
Cathy
To capture the essence of the moment - just right words- that's what writing is all about, isn't it? I like how you stayed with a topic for more than one day, experimenting, looking at it from different angles. Both poems show that you thought through and carefully chose the words and images. My favorite image is: poetry... slips through my fingers like water.
ReplyDeleteI agree that staying with a topic for a couple of days makes for some interesting writing! We tell the kids to experiment - and we need to do experiment too! I think I might try to stay with a topic for a few days..
ReplyDeleteI love the image of poetry slipping through your fingers like water. I feel that way too, sometimes. I'm still searching for "my" best genre. Great poem!
ReplyDeleteHoly buckets! I just thanked Dana for encouraging me to stretch and possibly try a new genre (aka - poetry) that I am not thrilled about. I was giving it some thought, but seriously - if this is what you can come up with when writing your less favored genre, I will embarrass myself! Yours is beautiful! The structure gave is such a calming rhythm, and the imagery was wonderful!
ReplyDeletePoetry may not be your thing, but look what you created! Love the line: "slips through my fingers like water" and "chase after the words like little girls chase boys at recess." Both great images!
ReplyDeleteWow, just lovely-the repetition and the images: "chase after words, like little girls after little boys/at recess." It's fun to write when you really can't write & surprising what happens isn't it? thanks Jen!
ReplyDeleteEven when you're not writing your writing. Clever cookie.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe poetry eludes you. This was a fantastic poem (as were the others I read on previous posts). My favorite line "slips through my fingers like water." Poetry feels like that to me!
ReplyDeleteI really love the line about little girls chasing boys during recess.
ReplyDelete